Since England have been sent skittering buttocks-first at speed out of the European Football Championships next summer, us Anglo-Saxons now have the added conundrum of which country to switch our allegiance to.
I consulted my Welsh, Scots and Irish friends who are old hats at dealing with their country failing to qualify for international events and they are at a loss also, because they usually just cheer for whoever are playing against England at the time.
Some of us have some link to other nations through ancestry, relatives or marriage so the leap to adopting another Euro-nation is not that tough but what of those of us with just English blood running through our family trees? Which of the 16 other countries should we contemplate having a short and passionate fling with next summer?
Croatia and Russia knocked us out so they are first to feel the tip of my size 5's. My next whittling exercise are places that never make it off the starting blocks as places to holiday. Bye Greece, Poland, Romania & Turkey.
Countries with a right wing Government are removed next so Austria, France, Italy and Switzerland are all handed a Simon Cowell-esque put down before being sent from the room.
The Portuguese manager was all set to become England manager before changing his mind and leaving us to appoint the useless lump who got us into this mess so Portugal can take a hike and take the bull stabbing and goat throwing Spanish with them.
I would be asking to be ostracised and probably boiled alive if i backed Germany considering they have an unnerving knack of making our players look even more pathetic than they actually are so we are left with the orange wearing Netherlands or the yellow clad Swedes.
I love everything about Sweden and it is where Santa lives so slice me another piece of knäckebröd, put some ABBA on the CD player and pour me another stor stark because Sweden, that is my foot you can feel rubbing against your leg under the table.